The Fruit Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree...Or Does It?
Do you ever wonder what makes our views so different from others around us? I mean we seem to hold the same principles and core beliefs, but yet we differ in so many other ways. Is it the way we grew up or was it the environment we found ourselves surrounded by? There must be something that makes us take such polar opposite views on many things and yet unites us on others.
Lets just take a moment and reflect upon our upbringing. Did the parenting skills and practices our parents had with us and how it molds our future? I don't think that one is more right than the other and most certainly, the environment we were raised in doesn't necessarily shape our future, I suppose, unless you let it. Let's examine this a little further...
Parent A: Good hard working people with good moral beliefs. They have a love and respect for family and friends and teaches their children to have the same. They provide all the necessary tools for education and responsibility. They want nothing more than abundant success for them and do what they can to help pave that path for them. This parent also wants a better life for their children than they may or may not have had and tend to help soften the blows that life tends to hand out from time to time. They tend to be parental enablers, by lovingly blocking some of life's bumps so they are more tolerable in experience, so they can get on with what's ahead. You know, being protective is the natural thing to do.
Parent B: So very much like Parent A in many of the same ways. Teaches respect, responsibility for themselves and those around them. But Parent B has a slightly different method on their approach to independence and success. You see, Parent B places conditions for success. They assign chores for rewards. Otherwise, children complete the responsibility, they then earn a privilege or an allowance. When it comes to the path toward success, Parent B lets their children stumble and fall and feel the pain or the consequences of their decisions. Yet the parents are by their side to help them dust themselves off and get back on the path, but tend to let them learn the tough lessons instead of smoothing out the bumps before they are met with along the way. Their intentions are for the same better life for their children than they had, but the concept of preparation for those life bumps is slightly different in experience.
Parent C: Unlike parents A and B, Parent C's desire is the same, but they just don't posses the same skill sets from perhaps their own upbringing. It may or may not be from the results of a broken home or just their social economic surroundings or lack of certain skill sets. Nonetheless, their love of their children and their hopes of a better life exists in their hearts; it sometimes just lands upon the shoulder of the children to figure it out on their own. Stay in school, choose their friends and choose their role models. These are difficult hurdles when there is no strength in the role of the parent.
So does the parenting roles make the sole difference in who we become and how we perceive the world around us? Are these influences so strong and deep that we cannot deviate left or right of our natural born and raised centers? Of course it must have some bearing of how we see ourselves, but I don't believe that it guarantees our future selves.
After all, we've seen people from perfect upbringings fall to failure, and people from what appears as totally dysfunctional childhoods turn into outstanding success stories. So what is the secret that makes us so different, yet so much the same?
Where am I going with all this? I'm just trying to figure out how our political and social views can be so different when our core values, our responsibilities, our patriotism and our love of freedom are so similar? Is it what's in our hearts or is it our experiences that drive us in different directions? Some want to trim the fat off government spending and waste; while others want more programs and funding that cost taxpayers more money. I think we can all agree that we'd like to pay less taxes and keep more of the money we earn, right? Then how can we be so different about the process of spending? I also think we all have the desire to feel safe and secure in our homes and around the places we visit and travel. I want to feel confident that when people want to come to America, that they want the American dream and the freedoms it provides; not for a sanctuary or a breeding ground for their ideologies and their own separate laws. Yet some feel confident to allow open access and trust that everyone who enters has good intentions and they share same passions we embrace; which ultimately places the concept of safety and security at a greater risk. So how can we want the same things, yet believe in two different ideals? Can there be an adequate path to the same destination without compromising or creating that greater risk?
Maybe some just need the path to be smoothed out so its easier to travel while others are ready to tackle those bumpy roads head-on to reach that preferred destination? I know in my mind that the things I believe in most are not worth risk or compromise, no matter the cost. What I mean is, that I'm willing to stand up and fight for what I believe and that I'm not willing to silently sit with a wait and see attitude. Maybe that's what makes us different. I certainly lack the patience and confidence of sitting still long enough to just simply let the chips fall where they may. For me, it's planned, anticipated and I'm ready when the chips don't fall where they belong! I think it's hard to stand in two sets of shoes and clearly see both sides. As much as we have our strong convictions on things, when we listen to the other side, we tend to only hear what we disagree with instead of perhaps focusing on what you may share in common. Maybe we can discover that just perhaps our differences are misconceptions of the facts, rather than simply opinions or emotions. Facts and mutual respect can solve many disputes in our differences; but again, if someone is committed to the cloud of non-factual deception, it's time to move on, maintain course and wish them luck and bid them farewell!
Lets just take a moment and reflect upon our upbringing. Did the parenting skills and practices our parents had with us and how it molds our future? I don't think that one is more right than the other and most certainly, the environment we were raised in doesn't necessarily shape our future, I suppose, unless you let it. Let's examine this a little further...
Parent A: Good hard working people with good moral beliefs. They have a love and respect for family and friends and teaches their children to have the same. They provide all the necessary tools for education and responsibility. They want nothing more than abundant success for them and do what they can to help pave that path for them. This parent also wants a better life for their children than they may or may not have had and tend to help soften the blows that life tends to hand out from time to time. They tend to be parental enablers, by lovingly blocking some of life's bumps so they are more tolerable in experience, so they can get on with what's ahead. You know, being protective is the natural thing to do.
Parent B: So very much like Parent A in many of the same ways. Teaches respect, responsibility for themselves and those around them. But Parent B has a slightly different method on their approach to independence and success. You see, Parent B places conditions for success. They assign chores for rewards. Otherwise, children complete the responsibility, they then earn a privilege or an allowance. When it comes to the path toward success, Parent B lets their children stumble and fall and feel the pain or the consequences of their decisions. Yet the parents are by their side to help them dust themselves off and get back on the path, but tend to let them learn the tough lessons instead of smoothing out the bumps before they are met with along the way. Their intentions are for the same better life for their children than they had, but the concept of preparation for those life bumps is slightly different in experience.
Parent C: Unlike parents A and B, Parent C's desire is the same, but they just don't posses the same skill sets from perhaps their own upbringing. It may or may not be from the results of a broken home or just their social economic surroundings or lack of certain skill sets. Nonetheless, their love of their children and their hopes of a better life exists in their hearts; it sometimes just lands upon the shoulder of the children to figure it out on their own. Stay in school, choose their friends and choose their role models. These are difficult hurdles when there is no strength in the role of the parent.
So does the parenting roles make the sole difference in who we become and how we perceive the world around us? Are these influences so strong and deep that we cannot deviate left or right of our natural born and raised centers? Of course it must have some bearing of how we see ourselves, but I don't believe that it guarantees our future selves.
After all, we've seen people from perfect upbringings fall to failure, and people from what appears as totally dysfunctional childhoods turn into outstanding success stories. So what is the secret that makes us so different, yet so much the same?
Where am I going with all this? I'm just trying to figure out how our political and social views can be so different when our core values, our responsibilities, our patriotism and our love of freedom are so similar? Is it what's in our hearts or is it our experiences that drive us in different directions? Some want to trim the fat off government spending and waste; while others want more programs and funding that cost taxpayers more money. I think we can all agree that we'd like to pay less taxes and keep more of the money we earn, right? Then how can we be so different about the process of spending? I also think we all have the desire to feel safe and secure in our homes and around the places we visit and travel. I want to feel confident that when people want to come to America, that they want the American dream and the freedoms it provides; not for a sanctuary or a breeding ground for their ideologies and their own separate laws. Yet some feel confident to allow open access and trust that everyone who enters has good intentions and they share same passions we embrace; which ultimately places the concept of safety and security at a greater risk. So how can we want the same things, yet believe in two different ideals? Can there be an adequate path to the same destination without compromising or creating that greater risk?
Maybe some just need the path to be smoothed out so its easier to travel while others are ready to tackle those bumpy roads head-on to reach that preferred destination? I know in my mind that the things I believe in most are not worth risk or compromise, no matter the cost. What I mean is, that I'm willing to stand up and fight for what I believe and that I'm not willing to silently sit with a wait and see attitude. Maybe that's what makes us different. I certainly lack the patience and confidence of sitting still long enough to just simply let the chips fall where they may. For me, it's planned, anticipated and I'm ready when the chips don't fall where they belong! I think it's hard to stand in two sets of shoes and clearly see both sides. As much as we have our strong convictions on things, when we listen to the other side, we tend to only hear what we disagree with instead of perhaps focusing on what you may share in common. Maybe we can discover that just perhaps our differences are misconceptions of the facts, rather than simply opinions or emotions. Facts and mutual respect can solve many disputes in our differences; but again, if someone is committed to the cloud of non-factual deception, it's time to move on, maintain course and wish them luck and bid them farewell!
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